I got home and no one is back. I hate that! Cause it strangely remind me of the last week my mom had before she passed on.

It hurts when you lose someone.
And it hurts when your memory of them starts fading.

I think most people forgot my existence. I have not written for a long long time.

Yesterday I meet suhba for a reading. Was crying my eyes out towards the end. He didn't love me. He just wanted the money. Excuse me how far is 7 bus stops away cause that's how far I need to keep my distance from him. 3 symbols me carrying him on a cart, me aging till my pocket overturn into his well that's depthless, and my tree slowing dying with his creeper climbing on me.

I surrender my heart and my everything to God. It didn't matter I don't get my car back. I want my heart healed Lord! My first session at the caregroup had a strong me breaking down in front of everyone. So difficult to walk the road cause so much pain on my feet. Lord hear me... I don't wanna take another step on the cool hard painful ground.

Today I found out that the ice cream cake I bought for his son birthday. He celebrated with his wife. What a happy family!!! I want to slap myself. Dumbass!!!

tired......

tired......

too many things on my mind....

nothing to blog about.......

too much pain to talk about.......

Just wanna have a good cry and then tomorrow is better...

Words cannot express the disappointment...

Lies while I stood by you only to realise that while I was fighting for your innocence... the rest of the world is mocking me.

Naive ya... I thought I gave up so much so much to help you. I wonder if it is possible to ever learn to trust anyone again...

Trust once lost... when will it ever come back...

everything that could go wrong... Went wrong... First it was the cream cheese then the strawberries... And finally the tart broke before i put it into the box... Zzz

下一個天亮

用起伏的背影 擋住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必說給 每個人聽
許多眼睛 看的太淺太近
錯過我沒被看見 那個自己

用簡單的言語 解開超載的心
有些情緒 是該說給 懂的人聽
你的熱淚 比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力 更有勇氣

等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

用簡單的言語 解開超載的心
有些情緒 是該說給 懂的人聽
你的熱淚 比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力 更有勇氣

等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光
時間可以磨去我的棱角有些堅持卻永遠磨不掉
請容許我 小小的驕傲因為有你這樣的依靠

等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

Been up since the wee hours of 5am...

We chatted...

Tales of regret and remorse came up during the conversation... Talks about how self centred he was... how he drag me down when I was up there... about how he didnt know to appreciate me and to spend more time with me. I suppose it is too late now.

I told him I thank him for many valuable lessons... how he made me more adventurous, how I became more independent. Its the truth... Even though my heart skipped a beat... things will never be the same... Someone told me a month ago... move on... cos he moved on already... and my exact reply was I moved on long time back.

Maybe its because you suddenly have no one by your side... thats why you thought of me... not because you really want me back... We could be great friends... your words still mean so much to me. Like a big brother now... telling his younger sister how naive she is and how unforgiving the rest of the world it. I appreciate cause you have seen the strength and weakness all in me.

With amazing load of plans going forward... I just want to look ahead smile... Preparing myself to claim the VICTORY ahead!!!

One boring afternoon....

Here is our first attempt... very basic... we looking forward to making a bigger one next time :D

I got home and no one is back. I hate that! Cause it strangely remind me of the last week my mom had before she passed on.

It hurts when you lose someone.
And it hurts when your memory of them starts fading.

I think most people forgot my existence. I have not written for a long long time.

Yesterday I meet suhba for a reading. Was crying my eyes out towards the end. He didn't love me. He just wanted the money. Excuse me how far is 7 bus stops away cause that's how far I need to keep my distance from him. 3 symbols me carrying him on a cart, me aging till my pocket overturn into his well that's depthless, and my tree slowing dying with his creeper climbing on me.

I surrender my heart and my everything to God. It didn't matter I don't get my car back. I want my heart healed Lord! My first session at the caregroup had a strong me breaking down in front of everyone. So difficult to walk the road cause so much pain on my feet. Lord hear me... I don't wanna take another step on the cool hard painful ground.

Today I found out that the ice cream cake I bought for his son birthday. He celebrated with his wife. What a happy family!!! I want to slap myself. Dumbass!!!

tired......

tired......

too many things on my mind....

nothing to blog about.......

too much pain to talk about.......

Just wanna have a good cry and then tomorrow is better...

Words cannot express the disappointment...

Lies while I stood by you only to realise that while I was fighting for your innocence... the rest of the world is mocking me.

Naive ya... I thought I gave up so much so much to help you. I wonder if it is possible to ever learn to trust anyone again...

Trust once lost... when will it ever come back...

everything that could go wrong... Went wrong... First it was the cream cheese then the strawberries... And finally the tart broke before i put it into the box... Zzz

下一個天亮

用起伏的背影 擋住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必說給 每個人聽
許多眼睛 看的太淺太近
錯過我沒被看見 那個自己

用簡單的言語 解開超載的心
有些情緒 是該說給 懂的人聽
你的熱淚 比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力 更有勇氣

等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

用簡單的言語 解開超載的心
有些情緒 是該說給 懂的人聽
你的熱淚 比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力 更有勇氣

等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光
時間可以磨去我的棱角有些堅持卻永遠磨不掉
請容許我 小小的驕傲因為有你這樣的依靠

等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

Been up since the wee hours of 5am...

We chatted...

Tales of regret and remorse came up during the conversation... Talks about how self centred he was... how he drag me down when I was up there... about how he didnt know to appreciate me and to spend more time with me. I suppose it is too late now.

I told him I thank him for many valuable lessons... how he made me more adventurous, how I became more independent. Its the truth... Even though my heart skipped a beat... things will never be the same... Someone told me a month ago... move on... cos he moved on already... and my exact reply was I moved on long time back.

Maybe its because you suddenly have no one by your side... thats why you thought of me... not because you really want me back... We could be great friends... your words still mean so much to me. Like a big brother now... telling his younger sister how naive she is and how unforgiving the rest of the world it. I appreciate cause you have seen the strength and weakness all in me.

With amazing load of plans going forward... I just want to look ahead smile... Preparing myself to claim the VICTORY ahead!!!

One boring afternoon....

Here is our first attempt... very basic... we looking forward to making a bigger one next time :D